Hello. I know you came to read some genius and hilarious anecdotes from our beloved Tstarr. SUPRISE! I am a secret guest blogger... so i will tell you ten stories about my life. And then. You have my full approval to guess who i am.
So. Ten great stories from my life....
10. I went to Mandy Andersen's wedding and danced like a butterfly on acid who had recently been kicked off the cheerleading squad for being uncoordinated. If you can actually create a mental image of that, props to you.
9. I recently became a new teacher. Well to encourage me my instructional coach told me a story about his first year of teaching. He told me that when he asked one of his students to not sharpen his pencil in class the child walked over, pulled down his pants and peed all over the teacher's pants. Am I excited to be a teacher? Yes. Why? Because when I am grumpy sometimes i want to pee on others. But that my dear is socially unacceptable.
8. My husband is in california on a family trip. And I told my husband in a public place he needed to call me before he went to bed. I said it slightly harshly I will admit. Well a little old man who i had never met proceeded to tell me I needed to repent and his wife and him had been married for 38 years. Well La Dee Dah. I can work a computer. Beat that old man!
7. I recently was on an airplane. I had my birth certificate and my marriage certificate with me to change my last name in nebraska. I put these important documents in my reading book to be sure not to lose them. Turns out that was the worst idea ever. I left the book on the airplane. The way i look at it though, I have no longer been born and I am no longer married. To sum it up, i am an imaginary single lady. Look out world.
6. SInce this IS tstarrs blog... I will dedicate number 6 to her by writing her a poem.
Theresa is really a star,
to see her i would swim far,
I hope she like me back
or i will stick her with a tack.
5. I went into a department store today in a huge ugly t-shirt and jeans. I had no make up and was wearing my glasses. You would have thought i was missing an eye ball and i had no teeth. Those super skinny girls who seem to own nothing but all black clothing and have big hair and rainbow eye shadow looked like they thought I should be shipped to a remote island where no one would have to place their eyes on such a hideous beast. Whatever. I least I eat.
4. For the first time in my whole life I can do push ups. Every year in elementary school we took presidential fitness tests. Every year I couldn't even do one push up. Yesterday. I did five. But I don't know how to get a hold of the president. I figure if he cared about my fitness then he should care about it now. ACTUALLY now that i think about it the number to the white house is in the game Trivial pursuit. I'll call tomorrow.
3. I gave up diet coke for a month. It sucked. I am now back on the sauce.
2. I am in fact pregnant. Not really. I am just not a good blogger.
1. This is TStarr now. Listen, this person and I became friends because we both do not like cats with a passion, she NEVER wrote me on my mission even though she PROMISED (did I mention that when she made this promise...we only knew each other because our parents are friends....), we both were in the singles ward and no one wanted to be our friends so we ONLY had each other...literally. That is all. (She is legit though.)
WHO THE FREAK IS IT?